मुलांच कुतूहल की पालकांची परीक्षा - भाग १ (उड्डाणपूलाची आणि पवनचक्कीची गोष्ट)

मी ११ वर्षांची आई आहे... अहो कसलाही गैरसमज करून घेऊ नका. मला फक्त इतकंच म्हणायचं आहे की मी ११ वर्षाच्या मुलाची आई आहे. तेही अत्यंत जिज्ञासू पण तितक्याच खोडकर मुलाची आई आहे. आज मी तुम्हाला पण माझ्या पालकत्वाच्या प्रवासामध्ये सहभागी करून घेणार आहे. असा प्रवास जो अखंड प्रश्र्न मालिकेने भरला आहे, असा प्रवास ज्यामध्ये आई मुलाच्या प्रश्र्नांची उत्तरं द्यावीत की नाही अशा संभ्रमात पडते, उत्तरं द्यायची तर कशी या विचारात पडते, असा प्रवास जो मुलाचा कुतुहलाचा झरा अखंड वाहता रहावा यासाठी केलेल्या प्रयत्नांनी भरला आहे.

माझ्या गोष्टी सांगायच्या प्रवासाला तेव्हा सुरूवात झाली जेव्हा माझा मुलगा बोलायला लागला आणि त्याने प्रश्र्न विचारयला सुरूवात केली. आधी त्याचे प्रश्र्न "आई, हे काय आहे?" "ते काय आहे?" पर्यंत सिमीत होते. मीही आपण आपल्या मुलाचं कुतूहल मारता कामा नये अशा आधुनिक विचारांची आई असल्यामुळे त्याच्या प्रश्र्नांची यथाशक्ती उत्तरं देत गेले. 

तो छोट्या मुलांसाठी असणार्या काऊ चिऊच्या गोष्टींमध्ये कधीच रमला नाही. कदाचित तो अशा गोष्टींचा त्यांच्या अनुभव विश्वाशी मेळ घालू शकत नसेल. तो त्याच्या आजूबाजूला दिसणाऱ्या सामान्य गोष्टींकडे बोट दाखवायचा आणि आई मला याची गोष्ट सांग असं म्हणायचा. त्याला प्रत्येक वस्तूची गोष्ट हवी असायची. आज मी तुम्हाला अशाच काही गोष्टी सांगणार आहे.

एकदा आम्ही कारमधून चाललो असताना त्याने बाहेर बोट दाखवलं आणि "आई, मला या उड्डाणपूलाची गोष्ट सांग" म्हणून माझ्या पाठीमागे लागला. मीही विचारात पडले की आता उड्डाणपूलाची काय गोष्ट सांगणार. मी थोडा विचार केला आणि त्याला गोष्ट सांगायला सुरुवात केली.
आपल्याला एका ठिकाणापासून दुसऱ्या ठिकाणी जाण्यासाठी तयार केलेल्या वाटेला रस्ता म्हणतात. जिथे दोन रस्ते एकमेकांना छेदतात अशा ठिकाणी पूल बांधून एक रस्ता दुसऱ्या रस्त्यावरून नेलेला असतो त्याला उड्डाणपूल असं म्हणतात. आणि वाहनांसाठी किंवा चालणाऱ्या लोकांसाठी एका रस्त्याखालून दुसरा रस्ता बांधतात त्याला भुयारी मार्ग म्हणतात. मग उड्डाणपूल कधी वापरतात, भुयारी मार्गाचा उपयोग काय अशी आमची गोष्ट चालू राहिली. मी या गोष्टीबद्दल साशंक होते पण गोष्ट संपली तेव्हा त्याच्या चेह-यावर मात्र समाधान दिसत होतं. 

असंच एकदा पुण्याला जात असताना आम्हाला पवनचक्की दिसली. लगेचच आमची प्रश्र्नमालिका चालू झाली.
छोटुकला: आई, हे गोल गोल काय फिरतय?

मी: अरे त्याला पवनचक्की असं म्हणतात.

छोटुकला: आई, मला त्या पवनचक्कीची गोष्ट सांग.

मी: एकदा एक टाटा काका होते. त्यांना एका टेकडीवर नेहमी जोराचा वारा वाहताना दिसायचा. त्यांनी त्या वाऱ्याचा वापर करून वीज तयार करायची ठरवली. मग काय! त्यांनी एक पवनचक्कीच उभी केली. जेव्हा जोराचा वारा वाहतो तेव्हा त्या वाऱ्यामुळे पवनचक्कीची पाती गोल गोल फिरतात. त्या पात्यामधल्या ऊर्जेच जनित्र (generator) वीजेमध्ये रुपांतर करतात. तयार झालेली वीज तारांमधून इतर ठिकाणी वाहून नेली जाते. (मी त्याला विजेच्या तारा आणि खांब दाखवले.) या तारे मधूनच वीज आपल्या घरापर्यंत येऊन पोहोचते. आता तू सांग बरं आपल्या घरी कोणती कोणती उपकरणं विजेवर चालतात??

छोटुकला: दिवा, पंखा...

मी: अजून??

छोटुकला: अंमऽऽ फ्रीज, गिझर, मिक्सर

मी: एकदम बरोबर!!

माझी गोष्ट संपताना पिल्लूचे डोळे आनंदाने चमकत होते. मला गोष्ट सांगायच्या आधी त्याला ती समजेल की नाही अशी शंका वाटत होती. पण त्याला ती गोष्ट नुसतीच समजली नाही तर ती त्याच्या पसंतीला पण उतरली आहे हे त्याचे डोळेच सांगत होते.
काही दिवसांतच आम्ही त्याला गोष्टी सांगण्याच्या कलेमध्ये प्रभुत्व मिळवलं. अशाच प्रकारे आमच्या कितीतरी गोष्टी तयार झाल्या... खुर्चीच्या, टेबलच्या, आगगाडीच्या, क्रेनच्या, कॉंक्रीट मिक्सरच्या... या गोष्टी बहुतेक वेळेला तो पदार्थ किंवा वस्तू कशापासून बनली आहे, तिचा उपयोग कुठे होतो, ती वस्तू कशी चालते अशा मुद्यांना धरून तयार व्हायच्या.

तुम्हाला पण तुमच्या छोटुकल्यांबरोबर असे अनुभव आले असतील ना? तुमच्या पण घरामध्ये अशीच न थोपवता येणारी प्रश्र्न मालिका असेल ना?? माझी खात्री आहे की तुम्हाला तुमच्या छोटुकल्यांच्या झंझावाताला उत्तरं देताना हा लेख निश्चित मार्गदर्शक ठरेल. मलाही तुमचे अनुभव ऐकायला नक्की आवडेल. अशाच तुमच्या माझ्या जिव्हाळ्याच्या गोष्टी, अनुभव ऐकण्यासाठी माझी लेखमाला फाॅलो करा.. माझे इतर लेख (इंग्रजी आणि मराठी) वाचण्यासाठी पुढील सांकेतिक स्थळांना भेट द्या: 
https://kinfolkclub.com किंवा https://motherlab.blogspot.com

Curious kids or parents at test 😲-Part 21 (Why you use sanitary napkin)- Part 2

To read first part click on Part 1

In last blog we read that my son insisting on clarification on why I need to use sanitary napkins. My excuses for not telling him giving him reason were exhausting. Finally I gave in. Explaining menstrual cycle to 10 year old was a challenge. 

Me: Before we actually turn to why I use sanitary napkin I want to ask you few questions. Suppose we are looking for a new house, will you choose place where electricity, water facilities available or you will go and  start living in house where nothing is available and then start preparing bathroom and fit electric fittings??

Son: I will choose a house which has water and electricity.

Me: Means we first ensure that all facilities are available in the house before we start living there, right? The house needs to be maintained in "ready" mode. One does not know when someone will start living there. 

Likewise, the nature has designed our bodies considering the future needs or functions of the body. Who conceives the baby??

Son: Girl or woman.

Me: Correct. So woman's body is specially designed to carry a baby in her womb or uterus. The nature keeps a woman's body in "ready" condition before baby is ever  conceived. It doesn't know when a baby will come there.  

Now once again I will ask you a question. What do we do if we do not require something in the house?

Son: We give it to someone else or we throw it if it is not usable.

Me: Right! Using the same analogy now tell me what does our body do with something that's not required? For example what does our body do with undigested food?

Son: Throw it out by way of potty or may be urine??

Me: Correct. Now let's go back to our main topic. Woman have an organ called ovaries which are part of our reproduction system. Every month the ovaries release an egg. The egg can fertilize only if it meets a gene from father. At the same time a thick lining/ layer is formed in uterus so that fertilized egg, if any, can grow there. If the egg does not meet father's gene then the egg will not fertilize. Now you tell me if there is no frtilized egg will our body require thick lining?

Son: No.

Me: If our body does not require thick lining what will our body do??

Son: Ummm.. throw it out??

Me: Yep. Exactly that's what happens every month with women. When the uterus doesn't find fertilized egg it throws the lining which is not required and when it is thrown out we don't have any control over it and we need to use sanitary napkins. It happens once every month. Each cycle lasts for around 4-6 days.

After all this explanation my son's mouth was wide open. All be could say was, "Mamma don't ever tell me such bloody stories again" 

Me: If you are going to ask me bloody questions then you are going to get bloody answers. Mamma tried to tell you that you are still you are young and need to wait for 1-2 years. She was trying to pursuade you again and again. But you didn't listen. So you deserve them!!

Epilogue: My son got the answer for query. But after learning the answer he was somewhat shocked. It was not very pleasant conversation for him. With this dialogue he learnt one important lesson that if his mother asks him to wait for getting answers to certain questions then she has some genuine reasons and not because she does not want to answer. From then on he thinks carefully before asking questions. If I ask him to wait he shows patience! Isn't that a big relief for mother of a curious kid?

To read other blogs visit https://kinfolkclub.com or 

https://motherlab.blogspot.com

Curious kids or parents at test 😲-Part 20 (Mamma, why you use sanitary napkin) - Part 1

When I was kid and I used to ask any awkward questions to my mother I used to get only one answer, " You will get to know automatically when you grow." No persuasion would work on her. Perhaps we had very limited exposure and she was not too much worried that we would turn elsewhere to get information. This "elsewhere" was limited to books or friends.

Now time has changed. Kids are too much exposed to media and internet. So the kind of answers my mother used to give me are not sufficient. Modern mothers are constantly under pressure of information explosion.

When my son was very young, one day after watching the advertisement he had asked me what sanitary napkins were. I had told him then that they are special kind of diapers meant for ladies. He was ok with this answer for many years.

Then he entered in 4th standard. One day he saw me going into the bathroom with sanitary napkins in my hands. When I came back from bathroom he had scandalized look on his face. He asked me, "Why you need to use these  napkins??"

Me: Sometimes I simply need them..

Son: But why?? Who uses diapers?? Either babies or old people, right??

Me: Yes.

Son: Babies do not understand when they get potty. They cannot control. So they use diapers.. But you are grown up. You do understand when you want go to bathroom or when you get potty. You have control. Then why need to use these napkins.

Me (still avoiding to answer the question): Sometimes ladies need to use them.

Son: How come you have control sometimes and sometimes you don't??

Me: My dear boy, you need to wait to get this answer for couple of years. You are too young.

Son: No, you have to answer today only. 

Me: I still feel I should answer this question after 1-2 years. The time will probably be right then.

Son: But why I need to wait?? You have always been answering all sorts of questions all these years. This is not the first time I have asked you difficult or awkward question. Then why suddenly you are telling me to wait??

Me: Because I still feel you are young my boy. These things are anyways covered in your syllabus when you enter 8th standard. You are only in 4th standard. So why hurry??

Son: No, no, no. You will have to tell me just now. Why don't you try me...

These arguments went on for some time. I was slowly running out of all the excuses. My son was not ready to back off at any rate. 

Stay tuned to find out the result of our tussle. Finally who won.. Mamma or son....

Curious kids or parents at test 😲 -Part 19 (Mamma what is sex??)

My son was in 4th standard. Once me, my husband and our son were going out in an auto. Suddenly my son asked me, "Mamma what do you mean by sex??" This was a bouncer for me though I knew what had prompted this question. 

This was his daily route to school. There was a clinic on this road with big board "SEX PROBLEMS सभी लैंगिक समस्याओ का समाधान" Considering the fact that he is so inquisitive and he is using the same road since last 7 years I will say that he took a long time to ask this question. May be whenever he had this question his Mamma and Daddy were not around. Today there was a board and there were his parents. Ideal situation to ask question. And yes, he fired the question at us, "Mamma, what do you mean by sex?" What a question to discuss in an auto riksha! I am sure though the auto driver's eyes were on the road his ears were turned to us.

I was thinking and thinking. I was trying to find the words. How can one discuss such topic in auto? Suddenly it was my husband who took charge of the situation. He said, "Oh! It's quite simple" I was impressed by my husband's quick wit. Normally it was my department to dwelve into such awkward questions. He continued, "It simply means male or female. Means you are a boy. I am boy. So we are male. Mamma is a girl or a woman. So she is a female" 

I thought it was brilliant. My husband had not told anything wrong. He had told one of the meanings. My son thought for a moment and said, "But Daddy, is gender not more appropriate word for it??" My husband's face was worth seeing. Now it was his turn to become speechless. But I had picked up the thread. I said, "You are quite right dear. The word sex is used synonymously for word gender. In few of the registration forms people write sex instead of gender" Thankfully my son was satisfied and he turned attention elsewhere. Me and my husband looked at each other and  heaved a sign of relief.

This satisfaction remained only for some time. After couple of months again we happened to take the same route. Again my son asked the same question. This time I was prepared. I immediately started giving the same explanation which his Daddy had given last time. My son said, "I know all this Mamma. But what's the problem about it? On the board it is written 'sex problems'. If I am a boy and Mamma is a girl what's the problem about it?"  I could clearly see that the auto driver was trying to listen our explanation. I was feeling very awkward. I finally told my son that we cannot have this kind of discussion in auto riksha or in public place and he would have to wait till we reach home. He seemed ok with that. He had not remembered the question after reaching home. 

I am still keeping my fingers crossed when my son would ask me the other meanings of the word!

Curious kids or parents at test 😲-Part 18 (Does your kid have access to adult content - Part 4 last)

In last 2 blogs we learnt the reasons behind my son's acts in the school which made teacher believe that he had access to adult content. I had started breathing easy as my son had been innocent in two out of three incidents. The third incident where my son had licked other boy's hands was little worrisome. We were not able to understand the logic behind it. And this is where even we had doubts. So we continued with our conversation.

Me: By the way tell me why you were licking hands of Ajay??

Son: Daddy taught me.

Me: Daddy taught you?? (My eyes widened in a shock.) Now from where Daddy has come into the picture??

Son: I learnt it from Daddy and I was trying to teach Ajay..

I was aghast to hear this. I almost shouted

Me: What?? Daddy taught you to lick the hands of other people?? 

Son: Yes. Arre Mamma, that day Daddy was teaching me the trick. He said it was kind of defense technique. If someone grabs you from behind and puts his hands on your mouth so that you cannot shout then Daddy told me to use this trick. You have to simply stick out your tongue. The other person holding you will immediately remove his hand from your mouth or loosen the grip. I showed Ajay the trick. He wanted to learn it. He wanted to use it on me.

My goodness!! I could never have imagined this. So this was the licking business! I heaved a big sigh. Suddenly the world looked brighter.

Thank God!! We bothered to talk to our son calmly rather than shouting. It was most comforting to know that afterall our son didn't have access to adult content. Finally we were ready for the meeting with teacher. 

When our meeting began the tone of the teacher was little accusatory. She asked us did we really know what our son was doing behind our back. Indeed we did know. We appraised her about the background of all incidents one by one. Now it was her turn to get flabbergasted. She was speechless for some time. She couldn't believe that there was such simple reasoning possible apart from access to adult content. 

At the end the teacher apologized. We appreciated the fact that his teacher was vigilant about the behavioral aspect of kids along with curriculum. However, she had tried to link non related incidents, she had thought like an adult and drawn conclusions. The kid had thought like a kid and acted like one. I wouldn't blame her.  Now she knew the truth.

In my earlier blogs also I tried to stress on aspects about difference in the way adults think and children think. We need to recognize this difference. By the time we become parents our mind is already conditioned by society, social norms and adult behavior. Whereas the kids behavior is impulsive and free from social dogma.

Friends, when dealing with kids try to step into the shoes of kids and then try to analyze the situation.  Most importantly have faith in your kid but be cautious at the same time!! Try to have meaningful dialogue. Majority of the problems can be solved by assertive and positive conversations. That's the secret of having healthy relationship with the ultra modern kids!!

For reading my other blogs please visit 

https://kinfolkclub.com or https://motherlab.blogapot.com