Making kids understand value of money! - Part 2

Read Part 1

In last blog we read that my son wanted a Nerf gun. Giving Nerf gun was not a big deal for me but making my kid understand the value of money was very important. I had found the solution to this problem. I had suggested my son to buy the gun with his hard earned money. Read on to know how.

Me: That's easy enough. I will give you a deal. If you like it then you can accept it. Why don't you iron your own clothes? I pay outside laundry-man at the rate of Rs 6 per cloth. I will pay you at the same rate for the clothes you have ironed during the month. We can maintain a diary and note number clothes ironed on each day.

Son: But I don't know how to iron clothes. 

Me: Oh! It's not at all difficult dear. Me and your father would teach you how to iron.

Son: But what if I iron the clothes, earn the money and you refuse to buy whatever I say. 

Me: That's a promise. I will not refuse or detain you from buying whatever you like. If I feel something is not appropriate as a mother I will tell you my opinion. But the final decision will be yours and it will be binding on me and as well as on your father.

I interlocked little finger of my right hand into little finger of his right hand. That was a gesture of promise which cannot be broken by either of the parties. This was sufficient to convince my son. But I was not done yet. I also told him one more condition that I would not hand over the cash to him. We would accompany him wherever he wanted to go for shopping and we would pay directly to shopkeeper. I had put this condition for 2 reasons. First, he shouldn't carry money in school for showing off among his friends and fall victim to some untoward incident. Second to maintain transperancy. It shouldn't so happen that we have disallowed something and he spends money on such things without our knowledge. We had full trust in our son but at such young age taking due precaution was our responsibility as parents. Let the kids venture far but not too far.

My son understood the full scheme. He was not too sure about whether he should go for it or not. Next 2-3 weeks went by without mentioning either of the Nerf gun or ironing. One Saturday my son declared that he was ok with my proposal and wanted to learn ironing. We immediately got a brand new Murphy Richards iron. My husband taught him how to lay table for ironing, how to adjust the temperature of the iron depending on material of the cloth and finally how to iron different types of clothes. We advised him to iron his clothes under our supervision only. We had to help him initially in turning the clothes and folding them. But in short time he mastered the art. He was now eagerly waiting for first pay day.

Follow my blog to know whether my son would be able to buy his beloved the Nerf gun with his hard earned money. (To be continued..)

For reading my other blogs visit https://kinfolkclub.com or https:://motherlab.blogspot.com

Making kids understand value of money ! - Part 1

When we were kids we didn't have so many toys and resources and yet we were so happy. Today's kids have plenty many toys and still they always look dissatisfied with their lot. They always keep on demanding something more.

My son had turned 11. He had many toy guns. But now he wanted to own a Nerf gun. I knew that his enthusiasm for any new toy including this Nerf gun would remain for 2-3 days and then the toy would lie in some forgotten corner of the house for ages. So I was not very keen on buying the same. My past experience had taught me that outright denial leads to lot of dissatisfaction and opens up endless string of arguments. I wanted to avoid this scene but at the same time I wanted my son to understand the value money. 

But how to do it?? It was easily said than done.  I wanted some time to think. So when my son demanded Nerf gun I just gave him non-committal answer, "Let's see". Thereafter I was thinking on it for couple of days. One really does not appreciate the efforts required for earning money unless he himself has earned money. Oh yes! Eureka!! I found the solution. Now I needed to talk to my son. I called him and told him.

Me: You wanted a Nerf gun right?

Son: Yes.

Me: See you already have 2-3 guns. So I don't feel like buying another gun for you. But still if you really want Nerf gun then you can purchase it with your own hard earned money.

Son: Hard earned money? What do you mean by hard earned money?? 

I had to be very careful while defining this term because my son had earned decent amount of prize money. Plus he was favorite of all and used to get gift money from family and friends on various occasions. 
Me: It means money earned by doing some real work. It will not include prize money or gift money that you have received.

Son: It will not include prize money or gift money?? Then how am I supposed to earn money Mamma? It's impossible. (He looked little disheartened)

Me: That's easy enough. I will give you a deal. If you like it then you can accept it. 

My son was listening with all attention. If I had proposed something then I had to show him practical way of achieving the same also. I had found out a solution which was "Win Win" situation for me. If he would accept my proposal he would learn a new life skill which would be useful to him throughout his life and plus learn the value of money. If he would not  accept my solution I would not purchase this Nerf gun also.

Stay tuned to find out what this solution was and whether my son accepted my proposal. (To be continued...)

What you sow comes back to you

Now my kiddo had entered primary school. He was learning new new things - formally from his school and informally from his friends. That day he had learnt new thing from his  friends was eating chewing gums. Now he was insisting on buying a packet of chewing gums. He knew that I didn't approve of eating chewing gums. So he smartly approached his father and demanded chewing gums. 

My husband also didn't much approve of chewing gums. But he also knew that banning it completely would not help. So he got a packet of chewing gums and insisted  on eating it under his supervision. Our son had never eaten chewing gum till then. My son was more than glad in complying with his Daddy's directions. 

Now the next challenge was how to stop him from getting into this habit?? Now our son was a big boy and would not yield to our wishes unless he would be convinced about it. If we would have tried to convince him he would have felt that since both of us hate chewing gums we are simply trying to keep him away from it. We wanted some impartial judge. And here came our ally. The Internet!!

You will find information about anything you want. You need to just word your search phrase appropriately. After our son had his first chewing gum my husband gave search on the Internet "Disadvantages of eating chewing gums" Of course internet provided lots of information on disadvantages ranging from tooth decay to kidney problems to cancer. My son read these articles. He also found out that the chewing gums may contain controversial ingredients like Butylated Hydroxytoluene, Titanium Dioxide, Aspartame which if consumed in excess quantities may lead to cancer, metabolic disorders, head aches. Immediately he checked his own packet. He found one of such controlversial ingredients in his chewing gum. He immediately threw his remaining packet in dustbin. We were relieved by this action.

My husband and myself proceeded for doing night time chores and our son continued browsing internet. After some time he called both us. He told his father, "Daddy, these days you use too much of WhatsApp"

During that period my husband was working as coordinator and was using WhatsApp to a great extent for this coordination job.

Husband: Of course, I need to use it for work.

Son: But it is not good for you at all 

Husband: Means?

My son had googled on "Side effects of using WhatsApp" and he was showing some article where the author had mentioned extreme consequences of using WhatsApp. The author had mentioned that one may lose the eyesight by excessive use of WhatsApp!! I burst into laughing. My husband's face was worth watching.  My kiddo was looking at both of us with a big question mark on his face. He was unable to understand why the elders were not taking such dire consequences seriously.

Afterall what you sow comes back to you!!

Happy boy who forgot to flush

Now the days of "हम दो हमारे दो" are over. These days most of the couples have single kids. Single kids who are greatly pampered, who get the best of everything and are yet unsatisfied. Many times they are very argumentative. Parent have to literally pursuade their kids to do small things. Kids don't listen and the overall environment of the house gets heated.

For some time we were trying to teach my son that whenever he uses a bathroom he was supposed to flush and keep the bathroom clean. Sometimes he used to flush and sometimes he used to forget. There was no particular reason behind either forgetting or remembering. We were tired of constantly reminding and checking. He was not leaving his casual attitude behind. Persuasion, scolding, punishment all modes tried but in vain. One day my husband had a brain wave and he started narrating a story of a happy boy to our son.

"Once upon a time there lived a boy. He used to be happy at all times. He used to be happy during day, he used to be happy during night. He used to be very happy while brushing and doing potty also. His happiness knew no bounds.

In the fit of his happiness he used to do many crazy things. For example when he used to take bath he would sing and then leave wet towel on the bed. While going out he would change into new clothes and leave used clothes on the floor. When he used to come back from school he would leave his shoes and socks scattered in the room. He would throw his school bag on the sofa. But he used to be happiest when he used to go for potty. He would sing songs and then forget to flush. He used to be so happy, so happy that he used to turn deaf when people were calling his name. He simply would not respond to his Mum or Dad calling."

My son was staring at my husband with mouth wide open. When my husband finished telling his story he just rushed into the bathroom and flushed the toilet. He came back and asked my husband, "Daddy, you are telling my story, are you?" My husband didn't reply. He was just smiling. 

This story proved to be a game changer. The term "Happy Boy" became a code word for us. The moment we would say today you seem to be very happy he would run around the house and check what he had done rather I would say what he had not done. Earlier when we used to have guests and he used to forget to flush we used to feel embarrassed while telling our son. But now we would just say "Happy boy" and immediately my son would pick up the hint and do the needful. All shouting business had reduced considerably. No pursuasion was necessary. Absolutely no embarrassment in front of guests. Overall environment became calm and pleasant. After all these years now my kid is trained and desciplined. But for occasional rare lapses the happy boy comes handy.

Friends, I agree that this was not a planned and calculated trick. But I am sharing this experience to demonstrate that we need to be creative while dealing with our kids. Mere shouting and punishing does not help. This cannot be the readymade solution as every kid is different and different things would inspire different people. Just think what would inspire your own kid and try something new. When you get frustrated just remember that there was a happy boy who would forget to flush!